Friday, February 6, 2009

To start out

When I met my husband he could see. I remember the look in his eyes when he saw me. Or How he looked at my daughter, and that twinkle, that spark in his eye is why I fell in love with him. That is what pushed me over the edge. Now though, now it is all gone. He has Diabetes, and I knew when I met him that he would eventually become blind. Little did I know what it really meant. But then again at 18 do you ever really know anything? Now Five years later he has been blind for one year, we have been married and we have moved our family 1500 miles away from anything slightly familiar. I haven't worked since he has become blind. I am not sure if it is the economy or the depression that has hit our house like a ton of bricks. Big bricks by the way, not those little tiny bricks.
He seems to be doing well, considering he can't use a cane nor does he want to. He just places his hand on my shoulder to get where he needs to. He literally wakes up, goes to couch and sits there unless he has to use the bathroom, or I make him go somewhere with me. Like everything else, the diabetes, being a mother, learning how to function or 'do well' has come pretty easy. Well that is if you consider taking the load of the world that is my family on my shoulders with out support. That is why I am writing this. To get my 'sighted in a blind world' story out. I know I am not alone. I know there are others who feel guilty writing online,seeing a sunset, or the look of your children's face when they laugh, cry, or sneeze. I know there are others out there. Well here I am and this is my story. I want to share so you can. Because no one really understands what it is like to have your spouse say how attractive you are while you sit there with tears in your eyes internally screaming “LIAR!YOU CAN'T SEE ME!”. But I do. I have been there, I am there. Come share with me, This is where it can be all about you, no guilt, just a bunch of others just like you :)